letting each other go

Maybe/Maybe Not

Posted by Leo G on February 28, 2007

I awoke to nine messages on my cell phone. Clearly, something had happened. It turns out my son got into a fistfight at school on Friday. He was skipping math class and somehow his best friend (@$%%&*!) got into a fight and my son went to his defense, punching someone in the face. I’m not sure how or when the school found out (the four of them had made a pact not to tell.) but we got the call this morning. Did I mention that this friend is not on Santa’s “good” list? He is a major part of the problem. And did I mention that my son is extremely loyal? A crappy combination at the moment.

Then, I learned that my father-in-law, who has been in a care facility for the last few months is probably actively dying. Or maybe not. They won’t know because his Living Will and other instructions mandate that he not be hospitalized, so no tests to know what happened. All we know is that he had some back pain, and then they found him pale and non-responsive. It could have been a kidney stone, a heart attack, or another stroke. But we won’t know. All we can do is wait and provide pain relief.

The only redeeming thing about the day is that we have an initial appointment with a counselor for my son this afternoon. It was already set up, so the timing ends up being good. We’ll spend some time talking together, including letting him know that while he’s suspended from school, he is also grounded. And then he’ll have some time alone with the counselor. How he responds to this may well determine what happens next. We’ve researched the local treatment facility and will put in an application soon. However, there is a waiting list. And we’re not sure it’s the best next step. Maybe having someone to talk to will help enough. Maybe we can still salvage something without having to “hand him over” to the treatment facility. Maybe he will suddenly start to care again and will cooperate with us saving his life. Maybe not.


One Response to “Maybe/Maybe Not”

  1. Kendra said

    I am very touched by your blog. I feel for you. It just about broke my heart. By the way you write “we” all the time, I’m assuming you have a partner or someone helping you through this. Just out of curiosity, are either of you home when he leaves for school and comes home from school? I understand that circumstance doesn’t always allow that but I personally think this is a big time for teens. Just wondered. Hang in there! You are doing so well! Thank you for writing.

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