It’s probably a good thing when you’re not hearing from me. And actually, things are very good. Bup seems to have discovered his internal motivation along the way this summer. I think the trips to Sweden and Turkey helped in two ways: first, they let him know that his parents love him and want him to have good things and are willing (when possible) to give them to him. And second, he got some serious one-on-one time with non-parental adults who love him and see his potential. He had long talks with adults who care and treat him like the smart, talented, and special young man he is. This does not happen on a regular basis, unfortunately. I don’t know of a single teacher or administrator at his school that’s taken the time to get to know him. His world was being completely defined by his peers.
Speaking of peers, when Bup was talking about another friend of his, he mentioned that they are having similar struggles to “completely cut off the bad influences” in their lives. That’s the very first time he has said anything that didn’t protect and defend the two friends that we think have been a big part of the problem. Of course, he may not have been talking about them, but he at least admitted that he has had some bad influences and is trying to fight or avoid them. I’m encouraged because this is coming from him, not from parental pressure.
He’s a good kid and I’ve known that all along. My fear was that he was skirting the edges and maybe even heading toward the middle of addiction. That doesn’t seem to be true. He has tested “clean” a few times now and so has been enjoying the benefits of that. (getting to drive, increased trust, etc.) He has, I think, had his eyes opened to how big the world is and how full of possibilities. I think, hope, and pray that we’ve stopped the inertia that had begun and given him some reasons to not only go to school, but succeed there.
I’m feeling hopeful, which is a long way from where I was when I began this blog. Deep breath. Thank you.
letting each other go 